(C) Copyright 1991 - 1995
William J. Robertson
the_rope_dancer@yahoo.com

beginnings

Give me now my golden comb
As I the wide-eyed cock do crow
To break the early morning's misting
With my shallow seeded song.

Give me now this simple pleasure,
I the cock to crow at dawn.
While others in their beds lie dreaming
Shall I wake worlds I've never known.

testament
...dissapointment

What meaning can be found in stone or fire
To lend it's purpose to the heart's desire,
Fulfill the soul, Bring peace and ease the pain?
These seas that surge to shore must ebb again.
But under what design, and to what reason?
What testament is there behind a season
That masks death's birth beneath such varied hues?
Each turning in this cycle that renews
Its endings in beginnings must give pause.
And is this play played out to no applause?

And have these days been days and nothing more?
Like waves and waves and waves upon the shore?
Just days and days and days and nothing more?

for jackie

"Prepare to be dazzled." she said
The day of that party
Three Halloweens ago.

Somewhere below the need for defenses,
Beneath the fear of hurts,
Inside the whelmed and vulnerable heart,
There is a darkness that waits for light.
And sometimes in that waiting
There is comfort
From our endless passings through,
And empty auld lang synes,
As we are drawn like moths to flame
To flashes in the night.

"Prepare to be dazzled." she said
. But her warning came too late.

lunatic

If I could define the limits of my madness,
I would not feel this pain.
Reality is my nemesis.

Somewhere children dodge and dance
In meadows full and bright,
Or huddle underneath the stairs
In hallways of the night.

There is a kind of darkness

To the moon that lights my dreams,
And overlays my waking thoughts
With echoes of my screams.

If I could define the limits of my madness,
I would not feel this pain.
I would not feel this pain.
I would not feel this pain...

testament
...hunger

I fathom no great meaning in this dust.
My heart desires quite simply what it must.
The eyes that would see heaven feed the beast
That says all appetites must be increased
Beyond all reason till there is no gain.
This testament of lust gives birth to pain.
And in this hungry flesh is made the tomb
That's held my soul a captive since the womb.
But that a soul is there is justified
By this very emptiness inside.

And these have been my days and nothing more,
My time allotted on this pleasant shore.
Their loss has been my loss of so much more.

Child Of God

Kathi is a child of God
The same as you and I.
But while we count our blessings
Kathi sits and wonders why.

She can't protect against the rage.
She can't work hard enough to keep
The love that should have been unearned.
It's now too costly, far too steep.

Kathi is a child of God
Born to His love and grace.
But she's learned she has to fear,
And hide from shame's embrace.

She locks her door against the pain,
And locks her heart against the hurt
Of hands that clutch a young girl's breast
And fumble underneath her skirt.

Kathi is a child of God.
His kingdom is at hand.
But the world has told her things
She cannot understand.

She sometimes tries to turn to stone,
And sometimes tries to fly.
She sometimes tries to love herself,
And sometimes tries to die.

Kathi is a child of God.
His promises are given.
The perfect child she holds within
She holds within her heaven.

She silent screams across her skin
With blades that cut and score.
Her blood wells up like empty tears,
And falls upon the floor.

Kathi is a child of God.
His redemption is her share.
But now she reaches out for love
From those who do not care.

She stalks through nights of callous dreams
That stink of lust and sweat
Still searching for a preciousness
She hasn't found as yet.

Kathi is a child of God
The same as you and I.
But while we count our blessings
Kathi sits and wonders why.

amends

I put on my past transgressions like a winter coat
buttoned fast against the cold to keep me warm.
I see how winds have torn your hair.
I feel the chill as ice melts in your eyes.
Is there no safe place for me?
Some refuge from this home that does such harm?

I trim my beard and let my hair grow long.
I wear my shroud of indecision.
Still the mirror traps me in a smile.
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
Are there no metaphors to mend
the broken love that lies upon the floor?
Can I bear this sorrow for a while?

I used to dance with you and sing.
I wished for you a child's world never ending.
I see instead the pain that I have brought.
I see instead the price I never paid.
How can I tell you now how hard I fought?
My heart is broken with your kiss.
How can this spirit still be so unbending?

I put on my past transgressions like a winter coat
buttoned fast against the cold to keep me warm.
I walk down streets to winter's icy blast
of memory that plays me like a pawn.
And yet I know it cannot last.
A spring must come.

community

We speak one pain with separate mouths.
We cry communal tears.
We fill this holy place with love.
We touch each others fears.

I will help you ease your pain.

You will give me sight.
Together we can start again
And make it through this night.

No one can walk this walk but me.

But I can't walk alone.
With you to keep me company,
I'll find my way back home.

testament
...release

Inspiration's held in stone and fire.
Not of their own but that I can aspire.
And in such musings then I can find peace
Though turmoil in this world may never cease.
And who am I to ask for explanation
Whose reason is behind all this creation?
My own is not and that can now suffice.
And is this really such a sacrifice?
To live a life that's simple day by day?
When I can choose such beauty on the way?

And, yes, these days are days but so much more.
Like waves and waves and waves upon the shore
They can't be stopped and hold so much in store.

for Faith!

Eyes brown as wet wood in a rain...
And a smile.
Such a smile!
And touches soft as grass.
You move across my thoughts in random patterns
that cannot be captured.
But I do love you so.
And if I did not have a life to live with you
my heart would break.
And I would miss your
eyes brown as wet wood in a rain...
And your smile.
And I would miss your love.

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